Now What? Q&A About That Whole Book Thing

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you probably know I finished the first draft of my memoir.

I know a lot of writers don’t like to talk about their WIP, but whatever. I’m not one of those writers.

Since I’ve been talking about working on it for over a year, and since it’s such a sensitive topic for some people, I figured I ought to answer some questions I’ve gotten.

When is the book going to be published?

I have no freaking clue. A first draft is just a first draft. It’s nowhere near ready to publish. The next step is to revise the shit out of it. After that, I’ll revise the shit out of it some more. After I’ve revised all the shitty parts, I’ll recruit a few beta readers. They’ll go through each chapter and point out all the shit I missed so I can go through another round of revisions.

Are you going to self-publish?

Maybe, but probably not. That would be a lot of work. Never say never and all, but I’d prefer not to self-publish. I think life would be easier for me if I tried to get an agent and went with traditional publishing. But that’s all way down the road.

Celebratory grilled cheese
Celebratory grilled cheese

Does your book have cuss words?

Fuck this question.

Is X in your book?

Maybe. It’s a first draft, so most things are still up in the air. I can tell you there will be:

  • a stalker who wants to marry and kill me
  • church folks who are sort of OK with that
  • church folks who aren’t as OK with that
  • shitty theology
  • slightly less shitty theology
  • boys
  • girls
  • LOVE THAT’S SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND THEN TRAGIC AND THEN BEAUTIFUL IT WILL MAKE YOU WEEP UNLESS YOU’RE A HEARTLESS ASSHOLE
  • vodka
  • sad shit
  • funny shit
  • purity culture
  • feminism
  • God stuff
  • me and my dark humor and snarky comments that spew out of me at inappropriate times
Don't be an asshole
Don’t be an asshole

Can I read your draft?

No. Well, unless you’re in my writing group. If you are, then you’ve already read some of it, so why are you asking stupid questions like this?

What the hell are beta readers?

They’re people who will read through my revised draft and give me some feedback, from a reader’s perspective. They are not proofreaders.

Can I be a beta reader?

Probably. You have to be willing to give me feedback, which might include telling me entire sections of my memoir are pointless. And you can’t be too emotionally invested in the story because I need to know how a reader who starts the book not giving a rat’s ass about me as a person would respond to it.

If you’re interested in beta reading and you aren’t a close friend, family member, or someone who knew me as a teenager, leave me a comment and I’ll contact you when I’m ready (and also, you’re pretty and smart and awesome).

I took a picture of myself when I finished that draft, but I look crappy in it so here's a picture from a different day where I somehow look all smug while sitting on a kid's swing set.
I took a picture of myself when I finished my draft, but I look crappy in it so here’s a picture from a few weeks before that where I somehow look all smug while sitting on a child’s swing set.

Hey, Kristy, am I in your book?

Maybe. Are you concerned about that? Well, guess you shouldn’t have been such a shit head then.

OK, but seriously… if you knew me when I was a teenager or in my early 20s, you might be in the book. It’s hard to write about two years of my life and not include the people who made a significant impact. I can’t say who’s going to be there in the end (aside from my immediate family members). Some scenes that are in the book right now might get cut; some might get added. Aside from a few key players, I really don’t know who’ll be there and who won’t be.

If you do wind up in the book, don’t worry about it. I’m not going to surprise my friends. (Like, how shitty do y’all think I am?) I’ll get ahold of you and see if you want to read over any scenes you’re in. If there’s something in there you have a major issue with, we’ll talk about it. If you don’t want your real name in there, I’m fine with disguising your identity and handing out pseudonyms.

If you don’t like me, you’ll automatically get a pseudonym. I’m writing a book about events that happened in my life. During some of those events, some of you were total dicks. But I’m not going to be a dick about it and out you. So settle down.

2 Comments

  1. Gabrielle Hedges June 20, 2016 at 6:21 am

    Willing to beta read! –Reading/writing/math tutor. Looking forward to reading your story all in one place!

    Reply
    1. Kristy June 20, 2016 at 10:59 am

      Awesome! Thanks so much! I’ll drop you an email when it’s ready to go.

      Reply

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