Imperfect Victims and Villains

One of my friends recently pointed me toward a review of Act Normal. It has one of my favorite observations. The author, Kristy Burmeister, was brutally honest, even when it meant she looked like shit. I love it because this person got it. It’s true. Sometimes I’m kind of a shitty person. I’m impulsive. I’m waaaaaaay too snarky. I do things I know I shouldn’t…

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Christian Purity Culture Survivors Speak

Last week, I asked a question on social media. For anyone not familiar with purity culture, it’s common within Christian circles. While Christianity has traditionally promoted chastity (as it should), purity culture placed the emphasis on virginity and purity rather than ongoing chastity. Books like I Kissed Dating Goodbye and popular evangelical movements like True Love Waits are part of Christian purity culture. Many Christian…

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A Male Supporter’s Guide to #MeToo

It’s been five months since #MeToo was trending. At the time, I saw a lot of men expressing support and asking what they could do. I don’t see those questions being asked now. Women haven’t forgotten. We don’t have the luxury of forgetting. I hope our male friends and supporters haven’t forgotten either. Five months ago, you wanted to know what you could do to…

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We Don’t Want to Believe Someone We Like is a Predator

Why is it so hard to believe someone we like is a predator? When we hear a report of predatory behavior about someone we know, our immediate reaction is usually, “What? Him? Not him. I like him.” Maybe it’s a celebrity you’ve been following for years. Maybe it’s a well-respected member of your congregation. Maybe it’s your best friend. We just can’t believe it. And…

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Domestic Violence Isn’t the Victim’s Problem. It’s OUR Problem.

I don’t think I need to explain how horrified I was Sunday when I heard about the shooting in Sutherland Springs, Texas. But I’m not just horrified. I’m angry too. We know there’s a link between domestic violence and mass shootings. But when most of us think about domestic violence, we think of it as not-my-problem. If I’m not being hit, why should I care?…

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Waiting Around (Again)

This is part of the synchroblog on waiting, to celebrate the release of Those Who Wait: Finding God in Disappointment, Doubt and Delay by Tanya Marlow – out now. See more here and link up to the synchroblog here. The other day, I sighed and told my sister, “Things are going too well lately.” Which sounds like a stupid thing to complain about (and I might have a skewed view…

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Wonder Woman: Let’s Talk About That No Man’s Land Scene

Spoiler Alert (But, for real, just go watch the movie.) I’ve wanted to write something about Wonder Woman, but I decided to wait a while. Well, it’s been a while, so let’s dig into the No Man’s Land scene. Now, I don’t cry during movies (unless it’s Shadow returning home at the end of Homeward Bound because that old dog coming up over the hill makes me cry every…

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Two Mennonites Walk Into a Catholic Literary Gathering…

  Full disclosure: Neither of us are actually Mennonites anymore. Sometimes we just pretend to be for the pie. A few months ago, my friend, Timothy Putnam, gave me a head’s up about the Trying to Say “God” conference. (I’ve got to give him credit here because I usually just give him a lot of crap and nonsense.) Even though I’m not exactly Catholic (I’m not exactly…

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How to Help a Friend Who is Being Stalked

Take it seriously. The first thing you have to understand is that stalking is a pattern of behavior, not a one-time incident. Your friend may tell you she’s afraid because her stalker left dead flowers on her porch. That may sound minor to you, but what you don’t know is that her stalker has also been calling just to wake her up every night at…

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This Post is Definitely, Absolutely, Positively Not About Mike Pence

  I don’t normally jump on the latest topic that’s flying around on social media. And I’m not going to jump on Mike Pence. (I mean. I’m a pacifist. Jumping on people is frowned upon.) What I do want to talk about is something I’ve mostly seen people talk around instead of about. Some people believe that men and women should never be alone together. That…

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